"Sleep well" was the last message my Instantmessanger displayed me."You as well, Melody!"my mind replied to ist self. I liked her name even she did it not and wanted me to call her just Mel all the time. Melody- I don't understand whats so terrible with this name. I went to bed and tried to sleep but I wasn't able. All the time Mels words came back to my mind. She told me that I should be a bit more selfconfident, should smile a bit more."Why ?" I asked."Nobody like someone who allway look as he culd kill someone or thinks that the only reason for his exist is to afflict himself. So you do wonder to your self why I don't want to marry you yet?I don't want you to wlak around smiling like a jelly bear but a bit mor smiling would be nice, hunnie" she replied with a few smilies. Remembering this konversation it seems like there is a shadow coming to my mind. Some cloud of fear which rose up in my head. What will I do if she never will say yes to me? Or what will bei f she leaves me? I am not that guy who thinks the world is okay only while he could hear some birds sining.
In my oppinion the World and every human living on it is a cruel monster which is only here to hurt the people in his surrounding. But would it kill me if i try to to smile a bit more?"No!"I told to my self. Maybe the world will look a bit more friendliy If I just chase my dim thoughs away. Is there somthing I could loose if try to change my view oft he world? Yeah, there is someone. Melody. Even if the world wont change to me, as long as Mel stands by my side it ist he coutest place I can imagine.Tommorrow I will try to start."I love you Mel!" I whisperd and fell asleep….

13.5.08 20:57


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